Malayalam is Contagious

Mathew Thomas

One day Malayalam was hospitalized in Delhi,

The first known case of a language being hospitalized,

And made headlines in every Hindi newspaper,

It caused a sensation,

Diagnosed as a case of unknown fever,

The nurses spoke to Malayalam in Malayalam,

They said Malayalam has fever,

Only known case of a language having a fever,

It’s the fever that makes men senseless,

The common sense uncommon,

Just as feverish men in delirium,

Sometimes Malayalam blabbers in Malayalam,

The only remedy is an injection of Hindi,

Hindi these days is hard to come by,

For Hindi is only sold in the black market,

To cure patients like Malayalam,

Like the bitter sweet fever syrup,

Found only in some specialized medical stores,

The doctors as a matter of abundant precaution,

Instructed that Malayalam be isolated,

‘Isolate Malayalam to the furthest bed of the isolation ward’, they said,

For it is contagious and will spread fast,

They tethered Malayalam to bed,

Shackled and masked,

In iron chains,

Afraid it would spread,

And cause a contagion in times of lockdown,

They tested the sputum,

It tested positive for Malayalam,

How did this originate?

Not from a lab in Wuhan they found,

But from a tiny state- Kerala,

It is called a mother tongue,

And originates in the heart.