KNOW THE ‘RIGHT YOU’
Prof (Honorary). V.Rajyalakshmi
I woke up from deep slumber when I felt somebody questioning me. Inadvertently I began to answer not one but a series of questions.
Somebody: Who are you?
Me: I am Bharat.
Somebody: But that’s your name. Who are you?
Me: I am DGP’s son
Somebody: But a DGP is related to only general public and not to individuals. Who are you?
Me: I am the son of Mr. Surya.
Somebody: But that is only your relationship. Who are you?
Me: I am a Hindu
Somebody: But that is only your religion. Who are you?
Me: I am an OC/BC/SC
Somebody: But that is only the category of castes in which you happened to born. Who are
Me: I am a follower of X party
Somebody: But that is only your political affiliation. Who are you?
Me: I am a law graduate.
Somebody: But that is only your qualification. Who are you?
Me: I am a man.
Somebody: But that is only your biological sex. Who are you?
Me: I am fed up of your questioning. Now it is my time to question you. Better you tell me who you are and why should I answer you?
Somebody: I am born along with you and am part of you. So, your answers do bother me.
Me: Shocking!! How come I do not know you if you are a part of me and how come my answers wouldn’t be the same for you too? Why are you denying my answers as if they are not answers at all?
Somebody: Well, brother, you don’t know me because you don’t care for my existence within you. I am rejecting your answers because you are not giving me the right answers. Your name for physical identity, your father’s position for social importance, your parentage for family affiliation, your community for social governance, your religion of your personal faith, your qualification for occupation, your sex of natural creation, do not make you what you are. None defines you. So I denied your answers.
Me: If you are part of me, then how come the contradiction between you and me? Whatever I feel to be the right answer you should also have been feeling the same. Why do you contradict me? Are you my enemy within me?
Somebody: No. I am your best friend.
Me: Big Joke! If you are my best friend how could you reject my answers?
Somebody: I had to reject your answers because you failed to give the answers I was dictating to you from within.
Me: So you are a dominating friend! No wonder you failed to be my best friend.
Somebody: No. I failed because you are suppressing me from becoming your best friend
Me: This is news to me!! How can I suppress you when I did not even know your presence?
Somebody: That’s the pity my friend. You have been befriending only what you see, what you hear, what you taste and what you touch not bothering about its goodness or badness. Every time I tried to pinch you about bad things you throttled my neck with one word, ‘Enjoyment’! It has always been a big surprise to me that you are deriving great enjoyment out of self defeating and destructive things.
You never allowed me to restrict you for a good reason or for a common cause. You are a blind lover of your ‘Liberty’. Every time I tried to discipline you, you were screaming at me saying - ‘I want my space’ and said you are not willing to compromise on your liberty for anybody or for anything.
When I found that you have begun to derive your power and importance from your violence, political affiliation, money and corrupt clout around you I felt so much polluted but you felt you are empowered. When you are searching for your identity in your manhood, caste, religion etc, I felt sad but you never allowed me to help you know your fallacies. I felt extremely hurt that despite my presence within you, you have been defining yourself so wrongly.
My friend, I am so exhausted of trying to make you listen to me. You have suppressed me so much that I even ceased to make my presence felt within you. But today to my surprise your deep slumber has given you the peaceful mind for a short time and to my pleasant surprise you heard my question ‘who are you’?
Me: Well, your eagerness to be my best friend is quite interesting. So, it is time you tell me who you are and if I accept you to be my best friend, what right answers would have come from you to your question ‘who are you’?
Somebody: I am your CONSCIENCE my dear friend. I constantly try to make you the ‘Right You’. These would be my answers for the ‘Right You’.
You would not be just a name but someone who would make a name for yourself.
You would not be just a son of a public officer but would be someone who would not want live in the shadow of his position.
You would not be just a son of your father but would be a responsible family member.
You would not just be a Hindu/Muslim/Christian to get a religious brand but would be a virtuous man who understands his religion the right way and respects other religions the same way.
You would not just be a caste man to perpetuate segregation and seek advantage from caste colouring but would be a community man of integration.
You would not just be a mindless follower of a political party but would be a sensible individual to see through the selfish mottos of power longing leaders and would be your own leader to guide your life in the right path.
You would not just be a professionally qualified man but would personally be a quality man.
You would not just be a Man but would be a Human with an open mind to soul search the right values and accordingly define yourself the right way.
Me: Dear Conscience, you are truly my Best Friend. I will never part with you. I will never suppress you with my wrong thoughts and I will be the Right Man.
Dear students, The ‘Man’ &’You’ I am referring to in my write up is gender neutral to include both man and woman. I wrote this piece with a hope that you will begin your soul search and discover the ‘Right You’.
My Dear Students, I want to say little more. You are young, energetic, creative and dynamic. Future belongs to you. But future is how you make yourself. The best of any nation rests in its youth. Hence, Make India or Break India is your choice of action. ‘Make India’ is not just about invention of things. It is lot more about the convictions of its youth. You are like a sponge ready to absorb anything around you. A piece of sponge absorbs dirtiest water as well as the purest water. For a piece of lifeless sponge it is just matter of chance that it encountered either dirty or pure water. But for you, it is a not matter of chance encounter but a CHOICE encounter. Whether you want to fill yourself with sickening sewage water or with purifying water is your choice. To make the right choice you need to soul search and define the ‘Right YOU’. The ‘right YOU’ requires you to be strong without weaknesses, genuine in relationships, committed to right values and constructive in activities. Hence, for being the ‘Right YOU’, you need to avoid all the negative influences around you and you need to replace the wrong thoughts with right ideas. You must have your ‘Enjoyment’, ‘Liberty’ and ‘Power’. But you must be sensible to know their right meaning. Please understand that short term pleasure with long term unhealthy consequences cannot be ‘Enjoyment’. ‘Liberty’ does not mean boundless irresponsibility. ‘Power’ does not mean domination. Dear students, I know this is the age for you to enjoy your life because you have not as yet entered into the life A cigarette between your lips, a glass of alcohol in your hand, a shot of narcotics in your hand makes you feel high…but only temporarily. So, the ‘Right You’ would know that these bad habits will actually make you low in the long run. A perennial smoker, a drunkard or a drug puffer are always on the way to touch the lows of life - as low as to become a sick man, a liar, a thief, a violent killer or even a beggar. Sometime back, I happened to meet a boy, an intelligent one, who could have undoubtedly become a sought after law man had he been on the right track. But he was apparently struggling hard with his sinking habit. I remember his unhappy face when he was repeatedly saying to me that he is stuck. He looked so helpless and I felt helpless too as I could see that the boy has gone quite low to get immediately pepped up by any words of encouragement. It was very easy for me to guess that he started on a wrong habit with his wrong definition of ‘enjoyment’. But then why was he not continuing to enjoy? He could not sustain his initial enjoyment because his definition of enjoyment is more about weakness than true happiness. His idea of ‘enjoyment’ deprived not just his progress but also dearly cost his parents’ hopes and expectant pride about him. His idea of ‘enjoyment’ destroyed his natural abilities, even his confidence and self esteem. His idea of ‘enjoyment’ reduced him to be a slave to drinks and substance. If he is slave of his habit where is his dignity and sense of worth? Can he ever dream of being the king of his own life? - is what I wondered with great pain. I know in my hearts of hearts that all is not lost forever and he can indeed become a king of his own life provided he believes in the strength of his mind and is heroic enough to build up his mind to kick out his wrong definitions of enjoyment. A cigarette that pollutes the lung, a drink that brings out the beast in one self, a substance that disillusions someone to mistake his inevitable low as his all time high are the current definitions of ‘enjoyment’ for present youth. You go by this definition because an immature peer says so or the selfish markets so project or the media glamourises it. But where is your individuality? The ‘Right You’ has an individuality to wisely filter out the good from bad and be smart enough to say ‘No’ to any wrong definition of ‘Enjoyment’. For the ‘Right You’, ‘Liberty’ would never mean doing whatever you feel like doing, getting whatever you want to have, saying out whatever you wish to. If you find liberation out of short time sensual pleasures without commitment to genuine relationship, passing loose comments without restraint, indulging in careless or rash actions unmindful of consequences , you are not the ‘Right You’. Your popular slogan is ‘I WANT MY SPACE’. Well, if your so called space of liberty shows ‘No Entry’ board to your parents’ attempt to discipline you against your harming habits or improper use of gadgets or your teachers’ advise to learn good values and well wishers’ caution against your loose insensitive use of language and hurting expressions, please understand that you are closing your doors to become the ‘Right You’. If your blind love for ‘Liberty’ does not let you understand the finer difference between the well intended interventions and blocking interferences, you cannot become the wise minded ‘Right You’. Had your parents followed your definition of ‘Liberty’ you would not have enjoyed the security of living in a family of loyal relationship and experienced the unconditional love and security flown to you from their sacrificial responsibility towards you. If they too were preoccupied with their own space , you too would not have found any place in their ‘space’. Please remember that you have occupied lot of their space. Dear young ones, ‘Liberty’ requires its twin brother ‘Responsibility’ to become productive individuals. If you are the ‘Right You’, you will not want to be carried away by the wilderness of liberty. You would not be over obsessive about your ‘space’. The ‘Right You’ would say a big ‘No’ to limitless liberty. The Right You’ would say a big ‘Yes’ to liberty with a sense of responsibility. The ‘Right You’ would appreciate that disciplining your desires and pleasures would be your strength and not a block to your liberty. A truly liberated person is someone who is in absolute control of his right thoughts and actions. I know how much you wish to be ‘Powerful’. But if you find power in extraneous things like your religion, caste, richness, political affiliation, masculinity, wrongly exercised legal rights and such others you are not truly a powerful man. Anyone who finds power not in his own abilities but in his caste, religion, political clout, money, social position is not a man of power but a man of no worth. The ‘Right You’ will never use caste, religion, political affiliation, sex or richness or physical violence etc to dominate or exploit or others for an unfair advantage or importance. The ‘Right You’ is a wise man who knows that understanding, caring and respecting others is a huge reservoir of power and importance. The ‘Right You’ will never try to gain importance at the cost of losing genuine respect for your individual worth. The ‘Right You’ will find long lasting power and importance out of your unpolluted friendship and brotherhood. The ‘Right You’ will never create enmity through fights and divisions with a wrong notion that you will become hero by your domination. A true hero understands that his power is very much within himself and all that he has to do is to explore that worth and utilise it to the fullest. A true Hero will be someone who earns respect for his conduct, who gains recognition for his own constructive contribution and who kindles only a feeling of love towards him and not fear about him. To be that true Hero, transform yourself to be the ‘Right You’. Let your Alma Mater raise her head high….very high. Best wishes to all the true heroes in the making
Prof. V. Rajyalakshmi